


Mix Tape

by Synnerxx



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-24
Updated: 2010-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-31 05:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: A series of songs that provide windows into Jack and Will's relationship.





	Mix Tape

**Author's Note:**

> It's from that writing meme that's been floating around for forever. You know, put your music player on shuffle, write for the next ten songs, no skipping songs, write from beginning to end, no lingering afterward and no pre-planning. :D

**Farther Away-Evanescence**

Jack sighed softly, curling up in a tight ball. He had ruined everything tonight. He knew what he really was, the sides of him that none of his friends, not even Karen got to see. He was a thief, a whore, and a liar. He knew it and now Will knew it, so why should it hurt so bad?

He had tried to forget how he really felt about Will, had dated countless other men, but without Will, it felt like a piece of his soul was missing. He had run to Will for everything in the past, but that was over now. Will knew what he really was and now he hated him.

Jack felt like he was running towards Will, but no matter how fast he ran, Will was still just out of reach to him. It wasn't fair. Will was getting farther and farther away and it was all Jack's fault.

**Paradise City-Guns N' Roses**

Jack was what Will liked to consider his charity case. Yeah, that was mean of him, after all Jack was one of his best friends, but it was still true. He paid for half of Jack's apartment, his food, and Jack was always stealing Will's clothing. Did Will really mind? Sometimes, it got a bit old, but he wouldn't trade Jack for the world.

Sometimes Will wished that Jack would grow up and learn to become at least a little bit self sufficient, but he didn't see that happening anytime soon. He wanted Jack to be a little more responsible, but that was something that only happened where the grass is green and the guys were pretty (but not prettier than Jack.)

He wouldn't trade Jack for anything, but he would like it if he'd grow up a little bit. Maybe not lean so much on Will because sometimes the strain of supporting all his friends took its' toll on Will, though they never knew that. They didn't need to know that because they needed Will to be strong for them, especially Jack. He needed Will the most, though he'd never admit it. But that's okay, Will needs him too.

**Solitude-Evanescence**

Jack wiped away the tears streaming down his face. It didn't do any good. More just took their place. Will had announced his engagement to Vince today. Jack had been absolutely stunned. For years he had been trying to get Will to consider the possibility that they were meant for each other, and it only takes Vince a year to win him over completely?

Life wasn't fair, he decided. He had this whole fantasy life planned out for the two of them. They'd get married after Will realised that Jack was the one for him, get a house with a Pickett fence, adopt two kids, a boy and a girl, but none of that would happen now.

Will had been blind and Jack hadn't made the right moves. Maybe he was destined to be alone, with just a string of guys and no real relationships to show for all the years that went by. Without Will, he was alone. Now that Will would never be his, what was he supposed to believe? He had lost the only man he'd ever truly love and it was his fault that he hadn't made his feelings clear instead of brushing them off every time.

He'd better get used to the solitude.

**S.E.X.-Nickelback**

Hands stroked fevered flesh, tongues teased sensitive spots on necks and moans were the only sound to fill the room. No never crossed either of their minds. Eyes blazed with passion, pleasure caressing every nerve. It was a familiar dance for both of them, but it was the first time with the other as their partner.

Passion overtook them, the pace becoming frantic and faster, losing all rhythm, as they got closer and closer to the edge, falling over it one right after the other.

As they lay together, panting and sated, Will mused that maybe Jack was right, maybe sex was the question and the answer was yes, at least with the two of them.

**Stars-Lacuna Coil**

Jack wondered if it was really asking too much of his friends to take him seriously. He knew they all saw him as the goofball, the irresponsible one, the dramatic one, the paranoid one, but for once, he'd like to be taken seriously. Especially when it came to love because nothing hurt more than when you confessed your love to your best friend and all he did was laugh in your face.

Jack hadn't laughed, had waited until Will was finished. Will had stared at him then, “Oh my God, you're serious, aren't you?” Jack hadn't answered, just let the tears fall down his face as he ran out the door, broken hearted.

It was like watching the stars go out in the night sky as all his hope was extinguished. He wanted to leave this life behind and take his heart outside because clearly it brought him nothing but loneliness.

**Gutter Glitter-Switchblade Symphony**

Jack was an actor. Sure, no one thought he was all that good, but obviously he was because no one ever looked past the surface of his personality, no one thought that there was anything to look into. Karen got close sometimes, but never close enough. He knew how to keep them all at bay.

He knew that they only saw what they wanted and that was fine with him. The facade that he put up was who he wanted them to see, not the true Jack. They wouldn't like the true Jack. No one did.

At times, he could feel his mask slipping, the weight of it too heavy for him to carry, and he really didn't want to be there when the bridge fell down and he drowned and they saw the true him. There was a reason he kept the real him locked up.

**Thorn Within-Metallica**

As a child, Jack had gone through what all children go through. Being teased, ridiculed, and made fun of. It was part of growing up, but Jack hadn't excepted the real hatred to come from the one person he thought was his best friend. Yes, Jack had come out early in life, but his friend knew it and seemed fine with it, sticking by him. In high school, everything changed, kids were crueler, and his friend eventually gave in the pressure and turned against him.

Jack had been branded guilty for them all. He had took the blame, had done all their time, and he was done with it. He looked them all in the eye and said “Point your fingers, point right at me for I am shadows and will follow you. One and the same are we. I am your secrets. I am your sin. I am your guilty and I, I am the thorn within.”

He knew that his friend would understand it more than anyone else would. He knew that his friend was gay, but was too ashamed of himself and Jack to admit it, even to himself. It wasn't fair that he took it out on Jack, but that's the way it was. Life isn't fair.

**Wrong-Depeche Mode**

It seemed that Jack was always in the wrong place at the wrong time, messing everything up. He had taken the wrong road that lead to the wrong tendencies, like the sleeping around. Well, it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that Will didn't love him.

Though he supposed it was his fault for using all the wrong vibes and the wrong signs with the wrong intensity. That Will didn't get it and it was all wrong that Will was with someone else. Jack guessed he had used the wrong method with the wrong technique.

**Love Bites-Def Leppard**

Will watched Jack flirt with the guy at the bar. He sighed, taking a sip of his drink. He wondered if Jack told lies to the guys he slept with and told them that it was forever or if he even thought twice about it? He wondered if Jack ever pictured him when he made love to someone else.

Will knew he was in love with Jack, but he didn't want to be with Jack. He knew Jack thought that love was the way you made it, so he didn't want to be there when Jack decided to break it. Sure it hurt, but it was better that it hurt now for this reason, than later for the other ones.

He wondered when he was with Jack, if Jack was ever somewhere else. He knew it couldn't be love that Jack felt for the other men 'cause he threw it about too much for it to be real. He just wished that his love wouldn't bring him to his knees every time Jack needed him.

Hell, he was pretty sure that Jack didn't love him, so what did it matter? Or if he did, it meant little to him. Every time that Jack came on to him, he brushed him off, pretending not to care, because love bites and it brought him to his knees every time and he was tired of bleeding for Jack. It wasn't what he needed, not anymore.

**Willow-Emilie Autumn**

Jack knew he was a slut, but that didn't mean he didn't love someone. In fact, he was a slut because he loved someone. He wasn't ashamed that he was a heartbreaker and that the only person he reached for was someone else's. He wasn't ashamed that the person he had given his heart too would never want it.

He courted a thousand smiles, yet he kept his own to hide behind, hiding all the pain he felt, though he wasn't ashamed. He never would love anyone else and he wasn't ashamed to admit it. It didn't stop him from sleeping with lots and lots of guys though.

He said they never hurt him, no consequence, he was happy. These wicked past times take their toll, these tyrant vices break his soul and all he wanted was for Will to deliver him from all he was and all he never wanted to be. He wanted his book rewritten for everyone to see that he really wasn't the person they all thought they knew. The guy that wrote love songs to those whom he didn't love and reached for the person that was tied to someone else's glove.

He wanted them to share their sympathy and weep for him and he wanted someone to heal the hearts he'd broken and he wanted Will. He wanted to start over and be pure so he could have a chance at loving Will without being ashamed. He wanted to reach for Will and have Will take his hand. His heart already belonged to him anyway. He just didn't know it yet.


End file.
